Do you ever have one of those? It started off pretty good, actually. D slept in his crib until 3am, which was lovely. I woke up to a happy, babbling baby. Alex is feeling like he's coming down with something (joy!), so he was slow to get up. But D and I got up and fed the kitties and had some breakfast and all was right with the world. We hit a ton of traffic on the way in, but that was no big deal. We got to school and D's lunch box had fallen over and a lot of his milk for the day had spilled. Breast milk. That I had worked so hard to pump. Ugh. I hate that. Alex had to run, so I dropped D at school myself. Snack time was just starting, and it was a little girl's birthday, so it was "special snack". D would have nothing to do with it. He didn't want to sit and eat with his friends, he just wanted me to hold him. OK, fine, I can do most things with one hand by now. I tried to get him settled in, and he just was not settling. He had his 1yr vaccines on Tues, so I think he might be feeling a little punky - he just wants mama (I'm not complaining!). I eventually had to leave him, absolutely sobbing. As I walked away, I stopped at the bathroom, thinking he would be done crying when I was done. No dice. He was still sobbing when I walked out the front door. Ugh. I hate that.
I got to work and realized my checking account was overdrawn. Fixed that. Then I got my phone/internet bill. It was $455. Four-hundred fifty-five dollars. Are you kidding me? Then I spent half an hour on the phone with AT&T. Thankfully, the girl I talked to was really efficient and could take care of the ridiculous charges AT&T was trying to throw at me. By this time, I am just beat. I just keep thinking about leaving my little sobbing boy at daycare. I was seriously thinking, can I just stay here with him? Can I just take him home and stay with him all day? I know, it's a silly thought. And, by now, I'm sure he's fine. The thing I am dreading is that I am on his daycare's parent board. We have a meeting tonight from 5-6. Because of the spilled milk, I will have to go nurse him before the meeting and then leave him for an hour to go to the meeting. Ugh. Being a mom is hard.
BEING A MOM IS HARD!!! Days like that are the absolute worst but you're doing a great job, dude. Just remember that when you look at your adorable little man. YOU DID THAT! You do that every. single. goddamn. day. No breaks. Because you're a damn rockstar.
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