Tummy Update

I can't be expected to stick to a day to write this stuff up, right?

• The nausea has slowed down a bit, although I still don't feel 100%. My repertoire of food I can eat has expanded, but in some cases, it's diminished. I just can't bring myself to eat any kind of meat. It just makes me gag. I guess I've gone veg for a bit. This actually applies to lots of proteins. I can't eat a lot of tofu, and nuts (except for almonds on my oatmeal) sounds pretty bad to me too.
• I've also now started some weird cravings. Salt is a major one. Like, nasty Chinese food salt. And sour gummy anything. I tend to crave carbs mostly. I am just hoping I am not 400lbs at the end of this.
• I can't really think too much about what's actually happening in my body. It tends to make me pretty queasy, so for now, I'm trying not to think about it too much!
• My sense of smell has gone ridiculously up. Sometimes, I can barely stand to be in the kitchen. Other times, I wonder why on earth people bathe in cologne or perfume. Other times, my husband smells like ham. I just don't know what's going on here!
• I am not too tired, and I'm not too emotional yet. So, I guess that's a good thing.
• My mom told her girlfriends. I think I could hear them screaming from 350 miles away.
• I have to admit that my biggest concerns right now are more of what people will think of me. How their attitude towards me will change. I'm concerned about what my co-workers and my boss will think (I think they'll be supportive, but you never know). Will I be treated differently? I certainly hope not, and I don't expect to be, but I know that women are looked at differently once they're pregnant. I realize this is a silly thing to think about, but it is what it is. I guess I feel a little vulnerable because I have to undergo all these physical changes in front of the whole world and it seems a little daunting. And embarrassing.
• Some other concerns are purely financial. I mean, $2000 a month for daycare for a kid? I mean, Stanford has good daycare and all, so that's great, but holy moly! That's nearly my entire paycheck. No wonder a ton of moms end up quitting their job. Not that I would, ever, it's just - jeezus - could they pay us a wage that allows us to pay for daycare and afford rent? I think this kid will be in secondhand EVERYTHING. And we will have to steal gas.
• I'm sure I'll become concerned more about the baby's health, but, at this point, this whole situation seems a little unreal. I haven't had a doctors appointment, and I will have one next week - at 10.5 weeks! It's not even a "real" appointment, either - it's a "tour" of their practice - what does that even mean? Ugh - I hate doctors - so g-damn smug and full of themselves. And here I am voluntarily heading into a situation where I have to interact with them on a regular basis. Ha! Maybe I'll go crunchy granola and just get a midwife. Yeah, right. I'm too much of a scientist to do that. I'd rather be in a hospital in case things go wrong. Ah, the joys of interacting with the medical professional.
• My hair has never grown faster and my nails have never been stronger. As if I need more hair. I think I might invest in a razor company because I am burning through those stupid things.
• I think I am right at the verge of needing maternity clothes. All my clothes are just a smidge too tight, and my pants tend to roll down so my belly can hang out (sexy, right?). I guess at some point I have to go buy some unattractive, large girth pants with spandex associated with them. I'm looking forward to warmer weather - I think the dress is the way to go - as long as I can keep my leg hair under control :)

Sorry for the cynicism and sarcasm. It's the best way for me to deal with this situation at present. I think we are all coming around to the idea, which is good. I do think I will feel a bit better once I see the doctor and can tell my coworkers. I've decided to wait until after I submit my grant proposal on April 8, which will be right around 12 weeks.